Friday, August 21, 2015

FYI

We got an alert of a cheap rental apartment in Kemi and decided to go to take a look as we went to see our good friend, Ookami no Mori, when we found few others and as the first one was taken because we waited for too long, J took matters to her own hands and made the call, rescheduling the apartment visit and half an hour later, while the second visit to Oklaholmankatu failed (he had been given entirely wrong keys), we took it before the student boy and his mother could, so now, we have a rental apartment in the middle of fucking Kemi! Our dream city. We simply fell in love with the laid back seaside city.

We had the office run today and once we move and get things settled, we officially change our addresses.

Our homes took it well, I was expecting a shitstorm from my grandparents, but they don't seem to be angry, disapprove the fact I will take my cat with me and we are going with my car for now. He thinks my car is too old... She's just fine, I say. Now I just need to figure out what to take with me.

Had an anxiety attack at the sauna, freaking out and crying, having bottled it up for half a week. I'm sure we'll be fine, I just... broke down. I'm not overly sure why, maybe just... was overwhelmed. Our friend's family was so much help it's unreal.

Oh well, I gotta quit writing for now and start baking, promised to bake blueberry cookies and muffins. Packing and searching for my shit begins tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

*another sigh*

I'm getting shit poured down my neck from every possible direction and I'm ready to go live as a hermit for a month just to get my sanity back. I need my space and silence, which are nonexistent in this house.
For me, getting a loan is like signing your death warrant, but I'm considering getting a loan so I can get a rental or something from the north and get the hell away from here as soon as I can. I'm a harried ball of stress, everyone wants something from me and I just can't get myself to give even the proverbial shit. Or fuck. Or rat's ass... I'm just... so... done...
Everything I say or do comes back around, as usual, that is nothing new and I can deal with it, I can't be bothered to try to understand people, because I've run out of patience. There is always somebody wanting something of me and I really just want to be by myself for a while. I guess it's too much to ask... I know I make it all about me, but I'm fed up doing what people say or want. Right now I could just cry...

Limbo, my old friend

 Jesus Christ. I just can't take this shit anymore.  I've been on suspension from my unemployment support until yesterday. Everythin...