Fucking...

Watching Transformer 2, like these movies. Gotta love Bumblebee. Been busy, had my hair cut short, hurt my knee, it's still busted. Jumped off the rock with my cat and it bent backwards. If it still doesn't get better during this weekend, I think I need to see the doctor.

The band project... is on standstill. I  have serious doubts of this project, nothing is working. NOTHING. He got us a guitarist who looked like fucking weedjack hipster and had the most suspicious fb I've ever encountered.

Back in personal hell

Back in home village, I'm ready to cry everytime I look at our cat, he's such a darling. Evil, but I love him. Went to buy a pair of jeans, returned with something else, but at least I have new pants. And met a friend, ran into her in the clothes' store.
Also took up playing Anno Online. Decent game, a bit slow, but entertaining. I wish I could have played Ancient version, but Medieval works too.

This doesn't bode well

It's not even 10am and I'm after blood already. WHY ME?!

That ruined even my next year...

I can't be here the next year. Only until Christmas. Fuck this fucking shit. She needs me the whole year, especially during the spring. And I can't be there... Can I cry now?

So, I'm in a real band project now...

...sure, it's giving me anxiety attacks, but damn, he can compose and already composed one of my songs. He sure kicked things into gear, already ordered band shirts and there's just us two, no bassist, guitarist, nothing.

And we are very tight on money this month. VERY tight on money...

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1485380271692698

The usual shite.

I make enemies as I go. With or without trying. They just can't handle me.

Yes. I just be myself and they fly off the handle. People up here can't take the truth that has hardly any effect on people in my hometown. I'm not changing my attitude because few teens get upset.

Bitch to me all you want, little shits. I don't actually care if you'll hate me, ignore me or just act plain bitch towards me.

In the end, silent treatment from other people is good, I didn't wanna talk to them in the first place.

That's what I've been seeking for years. People steering clear away from me, since I don't care about them.

When they TRY to contact me...

Hmm, wonder was that all? Fuck this, fuck that, fuck them in particular.

This could be my new motto:

*headdesk*

I've been Oulun Kärpät fan for 11 years now and they won their 6th championship last Saturday. I'm hyped, been screaming, smiling like an idiot. They have the championship party today. Starts in half an hour. Problem? I'm not there. Gramps once promised to take me there, he never did, they won 3 championships after the promise and didn't take me. Well, now I have a car and all... I don't have the fuel or the money. Not much money altogether. I'm upset about that. I'm 150 or so kilometers away from the party of my dreams... and I can't get there. Now if you excuse me, I drown my sorrows to tea... put on my pajamas and maybe cry a bit.

*sigh*

Surely an interesting day. Myself, I've been sitting at my laptop the whole day, working on a draft for the final work's literal part. I still don't understand why WE need to send it to the Finnish teacher while the tour guides didn't, but oh well. I can manage to write the official form easily enough and I can make it so that the Finnish teacher won't understand. I'm gonna give them hell.

Desperation rises

The final work is turning to be a nightmare before I've even started it. I'm being honest here. Everything needs to be very official, which of course I can write, but I don't understand what the hell the Finnish teacher has to do with this. Oh well... I'm gonna hit them so hard I knock them to next week.

I picked up some watercolor paper for the better version of the background ice on the Phoenixe and just sent emails to two weaveries in my hometown. Other one answered right away and it could be possible to get in there to practice, since the store I tried is too slow to answer and I can't be there the whole time. It's gonna sap my whole summer, but at least I get the student support from that time. That matters quite a lot. Now I'm just waiting for the teacher to finish the little talk and come help me on how to reply.

Had an interesting few days. On Tuesday/Wednesday night, my fiancée got a stomach ache that was getting worse and worse until around 2am I called to the hospital and they told me to call an ambulance. Well, the pretty hot guys came and after a brief examination, offered painkillers and asked if she wanted them to take her to the hospital, if her stomach aches are unbearable, but she chose not to, so I was advised to call them again if she went worse. Needless to say we slept around 3 hours and in the morning, as advised, went to the Tervola hospital. She was hooked up on painkillers and did some tests, but they sent her to Kemi hospital for better examination. We waited some time for the cab to take her, but we were informed it'd take until 3pm for it to arrive, so I leaped to the chance and said I'd drive. Of course I was an idiot and didn't ask for papers to cover MY expenses. At this point we were only given a sandwich, yogurt and milk. Last time we ate had been before midnight. And the lunchtime was around 2pm...
Well off to Kemi and more examinations and tossing us around to different departments... until the last doctor after 6pm took her in for few minutes, told it was a bacterial infection and if left untreated, it could have been a urinal tract infection. Antibiotics and we were outta there around 6:30pm. I had alerted a friend who lived nearby and once we told we were out and that she was fine, they invited us over and cooked for us. The food vanished very quickly. We also got to pet their cats, the old lady Peppi and the tiny terrorist Isla. Kitty therapy is very good and she was in high spirits after that. It was a big relief we got out and she slept the whole next day while I was working on my final assignment, screwing up and getting myself in a tired tirade over petty things. I'm still irked.
I also should be trying to get some fuel money back, but it looks so complicated I'm giving up. My phone call phobia (I can't call to some places, 112 (or 911 as other know it) and the ER are the few easy places to call out of my friend circle) is high and I get a hoarse voice every time I talk to the phone, so I'm not calling Kela and ask what the hell should I do, because I don't understand their papers. I really don't.

Who made life this difficult and complicated? I'll go throttle the one to blame. Damnit!

Sorry for the delay

Though I don't think there's anyone reading this. Been sick for a long time and not in 100% health right now, mentally I'm completely empty and drained. We were supposed to have this art history class in the ceramics department, but we are in my department, after a brief confusion. I also was sore and tired last night and got a cold shoulder when we went to bed. Though the silent treatment and early takeoff was all my fault, it hurts like hell. This is one of these days when I'm getting the darker thoughts. Seeeeriously dark thoughts. I'm getting tired of this.