Friday, August 30, 2019

Slice of Life: Adulting sucks

One thing I've noticed ever since growing up. As a kid, you're all 'I'm gonna have so much fun when I'm adult'. Nah, the fun ends when you're adult. You're not allowed to have fun anymore.

Most likely, your slogan will be :

"At least the rent and bills are paid."

That applies to us. I'm supposed to do my utmost best with all that I have in the fridge and freezer... I'm guessing a whooooooooole lot of brown sauce with very little meat... Can I have a nervous breakdown now?

Money goes in a day. What little you get. We are also just waiting on everybody else to get shit done that we can't do ourselves... It's emotionally draining, you'll never be happy as an adult, it seems. Just small, short sparkles of light, otherwise it's a swamp that is slowly sucking you in in the middle of the night.

Adulting is not fun. It sucks.

Friday, August 23, 2019

Slice of Life: Whirlwind end of summer

I'm still rather windswept with everything that happened. Am now a moderator of a doll group, thanks to my ability to detach my emotions from people rather easily. Not from objects. People always come and go, they change or die, but some objects just never leave my life. I couldn't leave my piano behind, so there is an example for ya. Or that I cannot part from the dolls that are most dear to me.

Anyways, still waiting for new cabinets so we can finally, after 2 years, to start organizing and finally finish the doll room and our "atelier". Let's see is September a bit better and do we dare to hope. It's almost time for the Border Pride and the International Food Market again. I just NEED to get Strüdels from the Austrian booth, they are too good. I always take small slices for myself so I can have it last longer. Blueberry quark is my absolute favorite. Been also baking a lot of blueberry cookies myself, just yummy. Those and tea and of course, apple pie are the staples of fall.

Fall did arrive rather fast, I think. The summer seemed to end as soon as we were leaving for our hometown for a vacation and it has been pouring rain, finally. It's been so dry here (my home village still hasn't gotten much rain, yikes) that the ash bin the workers downstairs use caught fire the very same day we had come back. Of course, the guy just dragged it away from the wood-metal combo doors (we could have gotten trapped!) and between our cars, mine had just gotten the underside oiled! I was the one to go and pour water into that bin and douse it before it could really catch fire instead of billow smoke like a steamer. I had to air out our atelier and staircase. I did manage to tell the workers what happened after their day ended and they swore they always made sure it was properly out, but the new trainee didn't. I'm sure he got an earful.

That wasn't overly good rest of the Monday. Anyways, I've managed to order Apoxie Sculpt and Army Painter spray sealant for doll projects, but I haven't gotten a chance to use the latter yet, it's not such a good idea to use in wet conditions and it's been pouring almost every other day. With Apoxie, I've practiced fixing necks and making dolls some bigger boobs and a prosthetic leg.

I'm still going to do something with the hair and the leg, but so far, it does look good. Almost as good as the Mattel's one.

I think they enlarge when you click. Working on the colors, she's a quirky one and I think she'd go with her fave team's old colors.



Anyways. Been writing and modifying dolls, the only two things I actually have any passion for. The vacay did wreck my 39-day streak for Duolingo, but I'm getting back on track again, making myself a schedule to bounce between Japanese, Russian and Spanish. Also should move more, I'm not losing weight by not eating. I'm too lazy to cook and I don't know many recipes. I'm fed up with almost everything I make. And I'm picky. We got some food items from the Finnish Red Cross' food distribution for the needy. Problem is... Now I have things in our fridge I have no idea where to use them. Should probs make the Thai soup I traded with a friend for some things we just couldn't get down. I still don't have many ingredients to make anything new.

I'm in trouble, somebody should probs come and overhaul the whole kitchen and teach me new foods. I keep staring at the cabinet and fridge and freezer and just want to cry because I don't want any of what I see. Hence I was really hungry and cold last night and went to bed hungry.

My dad was a chef, he never taught me anything in the kitchen. Granny never taught me how to cook, but she did teach me how to bake. I am still able to burn potatoes and porridges. ...hey... I could make porridge. Shit, just need to put the dishwasher on to get the pots back.

Limbo, my old friend

 Jesus Christ. I just can't take this shit anymore.  I've been on suspension from my unemployment support until yesterday. Everythin...