Posts

Slice of Life: Loneliness and real friends

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Not many realize from my motor mouth personality, that I've been really lonely most of my life. The nearest neighbor was almost half a kilometer away, out of sight. There are a steep hill and dense forest between us. And... the nearest neighbors were mostly younger than me.

Yeah, I grew up without playmates. I had imaginary friends, dolls and stuffed animals. I liked the cats and the cattle, but mostly, I was left on my own devices. Sure, while my dad worked in the restaurant, grandparents with the cattle, I was usually playing either outside or inside, probably under my uncle's supervision. I think. I remember him taking care of me twice alone.

Remembering childhood for me is a painful experience. There are a lot of things I'd love to forget, but also things I'd love to have still around. I loved playing with dolls/toy horses/cars alone, but I do remembering being introduced to the eldest grandchild of our neighbors. There weren't many girls my age along our home …

Slice of life: My complicated family situation

I have always envied some of my friends, who had mom and dad and siblings. I didn't grow up like that and I was even bullied for it. By classmates and teachers alike.

When my parents were getting married, mom was apparently already pregnant with me. They got married in my grandparents' home, my "mother", whom I only refer to as The Bitch for several reasons, wore my granny's old wedding dress, since she had been pregnant with my dad when they got married. Ironic, much. Anyway, that much I know from the pictures. If I remember correctly, the only family present were my grandparents, my now late uncle and her youngest brother and maybe the youngest sister, I don't remember exactly, it's been a long while since I've seen the photos. Not a single smile. Granny said my uncle had asked why are they getting married, anyone with a half a mind can see it's not gonna last. Granny simply responded, "I know, it won't last, keep quiet."
Even the …

Slice of life: My life with the paranormal

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My family has some traits that we can sense the supernatural. Most notably me and my granny, but maybe to some extent, my late great-grandmother and perhaps a grand-aunt, not sure of my halfsister.
My granny has had it for years. Sure, some things, like supposed footsteps from the floor above, can be explained, but our home is an old log building, boards groan and shift with age. Still, some part of me wants to think it's an old relative, coming to check their old home. My grandmother has lived almost her whole life in the house, from her childhood, until they moved back from southern parts. Her parents have lived there and if I remember correctly, her father built it. He was a war veteran.
He died in the living room, of either a heart attack or a simple cardiac arrest, I don't remember which. Granny said she died surrounded by her and her mother at least, I don't remember were others of the large brood of children there. They were all adults by that time anyway.
Elias tende…

Ragnarok Yuletide - Christmas Is Here (accurate lyrics)

Northern lights, shining on winter nights,
Warming us deep inside,
Once more a reason,
To uphold our faith, in the human race,
Now as we celebrate this yuletide season

Christmas is here! Let's sing a song together,
Another year, let the music go on forever,
Christmas is here! Bring out the joy together,
Lasting forever and forever 'cause Christmas is here!

Lend an ear, to people who live in fear,
Reach out to be sincere,
Comfort the sorrow

Try to show the way,
To those who have gone astray,
Creating a brand new day, a new tomorrow

Christmas is here! Let's sing a song together,
Another year, let the music go on forever,
Christmas is here! Bring out the joy together,
Lasting forever and forever 'cause Christmas is here!

Let me, to forgive the past,
Searching for the truth that lies ahead,

We all know that the tree will last,
Just like the wise man once said,
Yeeee-aaaaa-aaaaaaa-aaaahhhhhh

Christmas is here! Let's sing a song together,
Another year, let the music go o…

Challenge for the weekend

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Take this song, listen to it once first, then, open your writing media, put it on again and start writing. The duration of the whole song. What ensues, see if it's working and then, save it and join me in the most creative challenge of the year. Join me in the forces of National Novel Writing Month, the League of Extraordinary Writers.


13 days

And things have gone to hell at work. I just sent an open application to a supermarket, I'm just so done with this. I can't handle all this stress. I can't handle all the negativity we get and I can just work and sleep, work and sleep. I'm done. I'm just so done...

Mental breakdown

Searching for a new apartment, all the while having our biggest financial struggle and my mental health is starting to break down. I can't handle things like this!!!!!!!! I'm weak and pathetic and motherfucking whiny-ass bitch!