Tuesday, October 29, 2013


Not too bad. Some improvement suggestions from the teacher, but I ain't redoing anything. I simply CAN'T! It's all there now and that's it. I'm done and I kinda like that. Sure, I could have done better with some things, but at least I did it. And that's not official.


Weekend please?

Spent 6 hours making the brochure for my arts and crafts. I don't think it's gonna go through to teacher, but at least I'm happy with it. That should be enough, because I ain't redoing it. My wrists are hurting like hell...

Monday, October 28, 2013

Well shit.

She's sick. I want her to be able to continue her work, but so far, it's not looking good. I'm kinda thinking is it because she hates her work, that makes her sick when she's supposed to go to school, but I don't know. I just don't like watching her being sick. While I'm sick and tired of this whole ordeal and I can't skip.

We had snow here for a little over a week, now there is rather warm, 4,4C and it's all melting away. It's slippery as hell, the whole school area is covered in clear ice. I love snow, so this is a big hit to my mood, now everything will be black again and I don't like that.  Can I move somewhere shit cold?

I don't know of the current condition of my depression, there are times when I scare myself with my dark thoughts, but then again, I'm a writer with a wild imagination. I torture people in my songs and stories to vent out all the issues within me.

Right now I could do with a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows on top of it. I feel kinda miserable with my runny nose. I'm also quite tired, since we accidentally stayed up late and after we turned in, my thighs were still hurting. I've been doing computer work for weeks now and my back and legs don't approve, but I can't really go outside with that slick ice. Also, it's too wet out there. Now I'm depressing myself. Marvelous. And my back hurts right now.

The only song from that shit of an album I can actually tolerate.

Anyway, I have a lot of shit to do, mostly the school stuff, but also commissions, the whole situation is draining me.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


This is me right now. Seriously.

Mother of...

Things are not going that great again. Well, at least it's snowing and lot. Still. I need to make a brochure of something of my own. I would have made a flyer for our band, despite it being mostly inactive, but our new keyboardist has given me hope.
Our boy, Goldeneye.
Miss Fudge.
I'm photographing my pumpkins, finding new settings from my camera every day. Not feeling so hot though, cough and sleep deprivation... Gotta toss a friend and her dog home, stay with the dog and do groceries for J and I. Don't want to... Be with the dog I mean.

Look at the size difference of these kitties. The black one is mine, the fudge colored is around the school area.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Can I sleep please?

Here I am, sitting at the photoshop class after all. I've gone through this once already, I just don't have an official certificate... Let's see how this goes...
I'm still feeling like shit, but hey, at least school has new computers. That is small as hell. The goddamn screen is bigger than the computer itself. I'm quite confused. Get ready for a shitton of ramble filled updates. I mean it. I might actually start doing something productive. This has Word10 ^^ Yup, I'm clearly tired, because I'm rambling nonsense.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Wow... things keep moving downhill...

Where to begin? Gramps is still prissy about us having a cat. I'm not bringing it home with me, that seems to be the thing he simply doesn't hear. The upcoming weekend I'm spending at my fiancée's place, to get Goldeneye settled there better with us both around. Or it could be that the granduncle is still there next weekend and I haven't seem him around in ages. Sure, he's fun guy and all.
The next was that we slept poorly at friend's place. We caught up at the expense of school. Sure, we both felt like shit in the morning, I still feel like shit. Teacher sent a message: "Get to work now! Or are you sick, because you're not here?" Guess do I feel any better... I'm just so tired of this. They either forget I exist, or they pick on me for being friends with the youngest of our class, who also tends to throw tantrums. I sound like a fucking hypocrite to complain, but nobody has idea what it is like to be me. Nobody.

I try to get through this school, I just don't know how I'll end up being after this. The gif above picture what I would do right now if I got a job. That's me when I leave the class, when I leave the school... I can't take this anymore. I feel inadequate. I'm never good enough to the rest. Only to my fiancée. That should be enough, but there are always other people you need to impress.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


Yesterday was pretty shit. Been feeling like shit for a while now. We are out of money, so we don't have much food, I'm quite weak from hunger, but I guess I'll get used to it. On top of all, I couldn't really sleep last night, so I'm exhausted, dizzy and all. We were supposed to clean up yesterday, nope. Today, absolutely no.
Supposed to spend the weekend once again in Tervola, only issue is, I don't even wanna know, how messy the apartment will be. I might go fucking crazy, if I'm have to clean the whole place again. Anyways... Right now, we have another big project to plan, we all are making designs. Mine includes napkin lotuses and northern lights.

One previous student returned for a day again. This time she brought her brat. He's driving me nuts! Whiny as heck.

This image did improve my day. NSFW kinda.

Slice of Life: Whirlwind end of summer

I'm still rather windswept with everything that happened. Am now a moderator of a doll group, thanks to my ability to detach my emotions...