Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Two more days

And I'm a nervous wreck. Had a partial breakdown at work over a silly little thing. Reflective yarn, since I was untangling it, they thought it was too hard for me to spin it. Of course the boss said it's not my fault, since I wasn't trained, but still it hurt like a ton of bricks. I've been moodswingy lately, I put it all on hormones, stress and the heatwave.
People keep saying that place would be a perfect place for me to work, but I've started to heavily think otherwise. First of all, I want away from here and if I stay, it's off of my dream of leaving all this behind. I want to move to Kemi and start a life there with my sweet and our cat. I'm so torn between making my room look homey again or packing the rest of the shit away...
I've been doing steadily worse and worse in there as well, at least that's how it feels to me. I just... I just want it to be over with and get my peace back. I'm not cut out for working 9 to five, which I'm literally doing.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

My poor nerves

Granny has been quite a handful lately. Jesus.
Last night, it was after midnight when the doorbell suddenly rang. Granny had completely forgot we have a proper bathroom and had ventured out in pitch dark and gone to the outhouse. And had locked herself out...
This morning, like yesterday, the first thing she did upon waking up was laugh out LOUD, waking me up before I was supposed to... Needless to say, I'm extra irked right now and listening to some music to try to keep my shit together for work. It's getting hard, I need sleep and I need silence. There's not that in here. I just want to move in with my fiancée, my cat and live in peace, away from granny and gramps.

Been listening to this the whole morning to prevent myself from killing someone. I'm just so fucking done with this. Seems like I need to take over upstairs with my laptop tonight, no matter what else I wanna do until my legs are better again. Fuck me sideways...

Friday, July 18, 2014

Tulivuorirock Unplugged vol 3

Third year in a row we are going there, this time for Jarkko Ahola and Timo Rautiainen & Jussi Lampi. My heels are killing me and I had a good day, until I was once again reminded that I don't know everything that is going on in the store. Now I feel like shit and wanna cry and crawl into a hole to die. I know what to make them as a thank you. A crocheted box with a modeling clay heart inside, within the heart, is a message, but only visible if they break it. Within the heart I'm gonna quote The 69 Eyes song Red. Blood red ornate heart in a black carpet rag crocheted box.
Hopefully you'll get what you wanted 
And hopefully you'll get what you need 
Red is like you always told me 
The colour of what is real 

When something is broken 
Left wide open 
Don't say you need me it's too late 
I cannot say 
When something is broken (broken) 
Left wide open 
Don't say you need me it's too late 
I cannot say 
When something is broken 

Monday, July 14, 2014

ALRIGHT! This White Devil thing has gone far enough!


Had barbeque party on Saturday, had blast, played mölkky half of the night and stuffed ourselves. My diet so crashed, but we all needed to unwind. It was relaxing and it was a bit shame that one of our group couldn't make it, she is perhaps the most missed.

Slice of Life: Whirlwind end of summer

I'm still rather windswept with everything that happened. Am now a moderator of a doll group, thanks to my ability to detach my emotions...