Payday and spiders

Working on art commissions and after struggling several weeks with not much money, it's finally payday, the last support for me arrives today. I don't have a summer job, so this summer will be spent with me doing completely crazy and sleepless. And without money. I wished to go to Satama Open Air to see Sonata, and to Tulivuorirock Unplugged, visit Imatra again, Tampere too, but no job, no money.

One of the artworks I was supposed to do was an acromantella. I'm utterly terrified of spiders and even the thoughts gives me goosebumps. Other creature I cannot draw is a horse-spider hybrid. I've never noped that hard in my life. Some people can cure their arachnophobia by getting a spider, the closer I get to a spider and the bigger it is, the closer I am to tears. Just no. Seriously no. I cannot even draw a spider anymore and I definitely can't touch a drawing of one. Even spider crabs are giving me the creeps. I haven't overly advertised in fb or anyplace else that I'm terrified of spiders, because people are such assholes they will post everything about spiders to me. If I see one more spider within a week, I'm gonna cry.

Sucks to be me, I live in the woods. Spiders are everywhere. I can deal with snakes, even some bugs, not those clinging type, I screech and flail and go completely on panic mode if I find one clutching onto me again. I know they are handy... But I don't want to see them. Spiderwebs are... icky... If you wrap clean spiderweb around a small, bleeding cut, the bleeding stops. Or that's what they say.