Monday again

Past few times Mondays have been awesome. Today, I'm not so sure, I'm still sitting at my desktop, doing things I should have done on Friday, listening to new Battle Beast and calculating how much money I've lost with this shit.
Two weeks left... Two weeks to finish the silk painting, do these calculations. Teachers most likely don't have time to keep track of everybody. The seconds are working their asses off and whining for them constantly. Oh well.
Doing some serious packing as well, got three more boxes to fill, also got two bags from a friend, which to use. I'm so grateful of what they have done for us, I could cry. In my home area, nobody was ever this helpful.

My poor nerves

I'm going crazy here. Granny clearly doesn't get to talk to anybody, she won't shut up!

Russia - Finland

Watching hockey after a long break. Jesus, what is up with Russia?! They were just fine during the first games, now they suddenly lost to FRANCE and now Finland leads?!

*sigh*

I think not many people understand, what it's like to sit beside someone you care about, someone you love and that person is in serious pain, crying, passing out from the sheer pain. That has been too frequent recently and it's tearing me apart. I can do nothing, but sit beside her, while she takes insane amount of painkillers and only get relief hours later...

Thank god for the doctor's appointment on 10th. I'm running out of strength as well...

Payday and spiders

Working on art commissions and after struggling several weeks with not much money, it's finally payday, the last support for me arrives today. I don't have a summer job, so this summer will be spent with me doing completely crazy and sleepless. And without money. I wished to go to Satama Open Air to see Sonata, and to Tulivuorirock Unplugged, visit Imatra again, Tampere too, but no job, no money.

One of the artworks I was supposed to do was an acromantella. I'm utterly terrified of spiders and even the thoughts gives me goosebumps. Other creature I cannot draw is a horse-spider hybrid. I've never noped that hard in my life. Some people can cure their arachnophobia by getting a spider, the closer I get to a spider and the bigger it is, the closer I am to tears. Just no. Seriously no. I cannot even draw a spider anymore and I definitely can't touch a drawing of one. Even spider crabs are giving me the creeps. I haven't overly advertised in fb or anyplace else that I'm terrified of spiders, because people are such assholes they will post everything about spiders to me. If I see one more spider within a week, I'm gonna cry.

Sucks to be me, I live in the woods. Spiders are everywhere. I can deal with snakes, even some bugs, not those clinging type, I screech and flail and go completely on panic mode if I find one clutching onto me again. I know they are handy... But I don't want to see them. Spiderwebs are... icky... If you wrap clean spiderweb around a small, bleeding cut, the bleeding stops. Or that's what they say.

Well shit

The dorms hold a MayDay party tonight, actually, right now, but as you can judge fro mthe fact I'm writing shit, we don't give a damn. True. We've been sleeping more or less ever since we came back from class. Didn't sleep that long at night, so now we are paying the price. Karaoke would be nice, but somehow, I just don't feel up for it anymore. There ain't many people around and those who are, I want to shoot.

I used to like MayDay, but the older I've gotten I've realized it's just another reason for brainless people to get piss drunk...

Mother of...

Somebody will die. That guy at the end of the hallway is driving most of us nuts here. It is his and our friend's cleaning duty. He doesn't even clean up after himself. Us two and at least two others are after his blood. He takes his clothes to dry in the wrong dryer room, in the changing room for animal caretakers. Apparently he is so afraid somebody will steal his clothes, he cannot leave them in the regular place... I don't give a shit where he leaves his clothes, but that was just awkward as hell, he must love the scent of cow shit, which is perfume compared to human shit.

Currently I'm working on art commission, I got a shit ton of drawings to do. Still trying to decide, how much do I ask for these. We are currently living on borrowed money and food donations from a friend and her family. This sucks.

Tired. So, damn, tired. And I have pretty much nothing to do in class.

Night trains...

Not that much fun with these fuckers on board. Literally. We have been hella late, now only 8-9 minutes late one stop before our stop.

Only 10 minutes late anymore. The train was supposed to be in Kemi 19:43, it arrived 20:21... You can guess the rest.

One drunk can't shut the fuck up and I just wanna strangle him. You can almost see that killing intent in my face.

This is driving me nuts. Honestly. Oh well, First and Last time for everything. You can probs see from my hoodie where we are going.

Just turn his head when the kid is still and has a weak neck.

One of these worse days. I feel like crying, breaking things, crying some more, screaming...

I think I might be stressed out. I don't have much money, I need to find a job, but from where... My grandparents are driving me crazy and dad and stepmom ain't being all that nice recently. One of these days when I don't know why I bother keeping in touch with all those people...

Hypocrites. Hypocrites everywhere.

This school's scores are plummeting in my eyes.

So, a guy here complained to the teacher that my fiancée fakes all her "pain/sickness" because he saw her going to the store in the middle of the week when she was absent. She barely managed to get to the bathroom the whole week and when we finally dared to venture outside together, it was weekend.
He doesn't know anything about her, the portfolio course barely scratched the surface. She fricking passed out from the pain that week. He might be just jealous because he can't lazy around here. He makes a huge mess in the kitchen, actually kicked my fiancée's shoes away to get his to that same spot. I was have to kick his shoes aside one day, because he left in the middle of the doorway. I would have been have to go around them and potentially get the girls' bathroom door to my face, or move them aside.

For the record, it was me who went to the store in the middle of the week back then.

And he dares to wonder why he was bullied in earlier schools. And he's doing what exactly? He seemed like a nice guy, but no.