Dizzy

That's pretty much it all. Slept late, then started reading two of my new books, then watched some Brosnan's 007, went downstairs to do some weaving related shit... Uploading more stuff to devArt... Dizzy...

Well that escalated quickly

This day started decent. Adding finishing touches to my Stratovarius shopping bag, tying the loom... And then. Teacher gave me good tips on how to do the Akatsuki robe. And in the end, she had no time to start it with me. There wasn't any available table space anyway. Then the both teachers left with most of the noisy second graders, no idea where and I was left there with my bag of fabrics, wondering what the hell should I do... Well, ironed the bag, tried to carve the stamps better until I grabbed my stuff and got out. As I asked the dorm supervisor to open the band room door for me sometime today, she asked if I remembered what day it was. Well, it's cleaning day, but we also have Valentine's Day rehearsals, I will be potraying my teacher (the previously mentioned one) and I need to dig both wigs, the blonde and the black Allegra from my closet. Sheesh. I really didn't need that one on today as well...

All that...

...I've been sick for over two weeks. These past two weeks have been theory lessons and I'm completely lost, I even screwed up the exam. It really hasn't gone that well here. Power blackouts, though they are less and less every day. It's just that... my fiancée isn't doing great either, not feeling at ease anywhere. Well, most of all at my class, but I have issues with my class seconds. They are dumb. Seriously. Some of them have small children...
I'm just so lost at the moment. Nothing goes like I plan them, or even how I try to. At the moment, I just feel like crying. No matter what I try or say, nothing changes. Well, not even Santa would listen to me, so... *sigh*
Birthday went, at least I had a cake, my fiancée and some presents. That saved a lot.

Sorry you guys

If there is somebody to read this. Damn, my computer was emptied and all programs rerun, now I'm in deep shit with this, when nothing works right. I was forced to use the school laptop during the Kissmyass and some of my passwords are only there, so now I'm HAVE to use it. Everything is falling apart. Everything.
Where to start? Today started pretty slow and shitty, I actually survived my last dentist visit with no numbing shot. Ow.
Another problem is the band. Christ it just isn't working. I'm several years older than them and they don't show up and it seems they are super busy (like being in the gym class from 6pm to 7pm while band practice is from 5pm to past 7pm) and most likely pissed off at me. I can't help it if my southern ostrobothnia attitude is too much for them. We are cruel people down there. Sheesh.
What else? People in the dorm slam their doors close so hard it's impossible to go and crash early.
My legs hurt. Seriously.

It's damn beautiful here. You don't believe how beautiful. Sure, there are wind mills nearby in the building process and I'm terrified of them. Just my luck.

When stress is blown

...I slept 15 hours on Friday. I wasn't have to go to school. Woah. Sure, I was worried when my darling hadn't returned by then, but went to the ceramics for some hours.

The build-up for the Christmas party was horrible. Seriously. People running around, shouting, ugly deco... The party itsef was irritating too. The choir was a disappointment. The sopranos didn't have any power at al, their voice was quieter and quieter and that 16-year-old bitch who thought she was so good told us to sing louder in the party. We with lower voices drowned them out completely. Basically, it should have been the other way round. Nope.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouT2QU_OSFM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0EAoIehD70

Our band is now named Phoenix Down and the guitarist and I performed there. Goddamnit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gFkGiUpuzI

Whoops

Augh, I have been hella busy. Teeth problems and school work and choir+band practice. We had a slight disagreeing with the songs for the choir, until we tried one newer song and everybody fell in love with it. Seriously. There was joy in people's eyes while singing.

Band practice is interesting. We first worked on composing -something- around my lyrics, until the drummer came up with few cover songs, I'll Make a Man Out of You and Once Upon a December. In Russian. Sure, no biggie. Few days ago I got a message on fb from her, saying that we are picking up Walking In the Air. Nightwish version. I'm screwed. I can't sing that high.

Anyways, we had an art class. That was torture. I hated it from the start. I've been developing rapidly lately, but the course has nothing to do with it. Twice we had so much to do we had to stay up all night. 30 A3 sketches to product design class and two A3 model drawings of myself for the art class, not to mention take 5 photographs for product photographing lesson. We were both soooo wiped and feels like that this weekend, I have finally managed to catch up all the missing sleep.

Oh crap, I gotta write a letter to a friend. Well, catch ya laters.

Headaches

Been rather irritating week. I've been getting headaches everyday. And not only me, but my dear roomie<3 too and oneof our friend who lives across the hall. We are suspecting tha there is mold somewhere, which could cause these nasty, gnawing headaches. Well, yesterday morning my worst headche came because my last emerged wisdom tooth but goddamn.

Product photographing course was boring and irritating. Thankfully we are not have to use the school camera. We are gonna use mine. Last assignment was about cropping the pics while taking them, this one is playing with light and shadow. Should be more interesting.

Arts class is kiling me. I've gone through them all already, but my education still isn't enough. I should do two model drawings for Tuesday. Now, the next three weeks, I won't be at my own class but only on Mondays, which bugs me to the core. I have beter things to do than go through all the art shit again. It's not that I hate arts, hell, look a my art blg! I love drawing and painting, but damn, I did not come here for all those extra subjects.

Hello depression slump

Just got back from the dentist. It's pouring sleet. Terrible weather. That is not the depressing thing though. I have gingivitis and lot of holes. Had to make the decision to leave all sugary stuff behind. I'm up for serious dentist visits which will deplete my money. Dental care here is much better. Had the wake up call of my life. I'm only able to cry myself into sleep right now, since nobody is helping me but myself. No support. It would be nice if we both could make that life changing decision, but my sweetheart just didn't seem to take it that well.

I'm off to bed and cry some more, we need to go baking around 5pm.

I'm destroying my life with how I live. And that of my darling along with my own. This has to change.

Soreness

Been cramped for ages, not to mention tired from lack of sleep. The Halloween party at school is on 31st, I made the posters for it, now I should do posters for my face paint booth too. Bought hella lot of facepaint. Seriously. And some deco. And lovely outfit for my darling. This Halloween will be awesome. Brr, I'm gonna go and get my SA hoodie right nw, I'm cold.

Better. onna watch both Cars movies. I had to return to Kemi today, since  paid 15€ extra for Cars 2. I literally paid it twice. Goddamn. Also had astonishing view, problem was the lack of camera... And then the last 30km back was driven in a fog.

I've been crocheting a lot of pumpkins, 5 ready, one big with still a slightly unfinished face. Gonna do some more for the party.

Back in the hell on earth

Or that is how I view my home village. I don't like the looks of it, I don't like the people in it. Sure, my grandparents might -not- deserve all this hate, but damn do they drive me up the wall.They do their hardest for and I just brush them aside. Why? I want to start a life anew, in a new place, with my love, leave all the bad memories behind, start finally the life I've been dreaming about. But as long as they are alive and screaming fo rmy attention too (which I don't care to give but to the few selected), I can't start anything new. I can only pretend I'm living my life as I've wanted, when I can't do anything without them finding out.
I'm have to hide the thing that is the most important thing in the world, love. I cannot come home with my love and huggle, cannot kiss in the middle of the street, can't hold hands while window shopping... Only in few bigger cities, is that possible. Up in Lapland, nobody really seems to care. They know how to mind their own business. No nasty rumours.