Deprived of everything

Last week was pretty hell-ish. This hasn't been much better either. I can't sleep. I just keep tossing and turning, my eyes sore and heavy, yet I cannot pass out. My brain just keeps whirring and there is no end to that. I just can't fall asleep. It's starting to catch up, as I'm angry as hell at home, but then again...
Gramps was complaining again. That I'm never early in bed (they sometimes go to bed before 10pm). They even think they can order me to go to bed that early. I go to bed early if I'm seriously tired and need all that more or less 12 hours of sleep. I'm running on less than six, just because I can't fall asleep. It was never that hard in Joutseno. Then again, I didn't have grandparents lumbering not-so-quietly through my room 4 times a night. Or granny talking and sometimes even yelling because of the side effects of the meds. Sleep in that.

There is no door between our bedrooms. Nope. Just a curtain. That is always open. I usually needed the snoring to be able to sleep, but after Joutseno... My darling is a quiet sleeper. Seriously. I got used to that and boom. I can't sleep here anymore.

This whole ordeal is starting to get to me. I have a different pace with things, which they still try to change. I can't really do things with them lurking around, being in the way. Gramps is never happy with how I organize things. Never. Granny has a fricking verbal diarrhea, she never stops.
It shows that she can't go visit any of her friends, and none of them want to come here. And I can't say one negative word to her and she starts crying and blaming me for everything and then it goes to weep for her miserable life. I hate when she does that guilt trip. I'm too soft, still. Though, indifference is getting stronger,  I have a long way to go though.


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